It was a dark and stormy Sunday afternoon. After an eventful (and absurdly expensive) trip to Target, I decided to have an early dinner at the Ruby Tuesday on Chemical Road in Plymouth Meeting. Conveniently attached to the nextdoor Hampton Inn, this Ruby Tuesday was pretty dead for a Sunday; perhaps because it was only 4pm---a normal feeding time for early-bird geriatrics, not for 20-something such as myself. I usually prefer to enjoy my burgers with a cold beer, but I was nursing a hangover from too many pomegranate champagnes at the Red Cross Red Ball the night before. So, I decided to be boring and drink (tap) water. I did, however, take a sip of my friend's Stella Artois---only to, once again, remind myself that I don't like Stella. We had buffalo chicken strips for an app. Lucky for Ruby Tuesday, the focus of my review was on their burger, not their apps. I ordered the Smokehouse Burger in lieu of two other possible bacon burger choices: the Bacon Cheeseburger (very creative name, RT) and the Triple Prime Bacon Cheddar Burger. Apparently, the Smokehouse burger is the favorite and has gotten rave reviews (probably from regular, old food critics and not bacon burger connoisseurs such as myself). For a fair price of $8.99, the Smokehouse burger boasts an 8 oz. slab of 100% USDA prime beef "topped with aged New York cheddar, applewood smoked bacon, tangy BBQ sauce, and crisp onion rings." Mmm, does that sound tasty! It also begs the question of just how a cow becomes USDA certified. "Well, Mr. Cow, could you please explain how you feel you qualify for the position of 'burger meat?'" I always order my burgers cooked medium. It's a matter of trust, really. If I order them rare there's a good chance I'll end up in the hospital (or the shitter) later on and if I order them well done I'll end up gnawing on a slab of charcoal. Medium assures a burger cooked well enough to avoid a trip to the ER (or BR) and still juicy enough to maintain its flavor. When the burger was brought out, I was a bit taken back by the presentation. A new trend for burgers has been to present them to the eater with the bun gently resting on the side of the burger to allow him/her to view their meat and add any necessary condiments before placing the bun on top where it belongs. However, I did not realize it was also a trend to have the toppings sliding off the burger Salvador Dali-style. The picture pretty much speaks for itself. The haphazard construction of the burger is probably meant to illuminate the surplus of toppings which dare to make the attempt to all squeeze under one roof. Over-topping the burger is another trend I've seen lately, as well as the "fry box" as I'll call it: instead of carelessly heaping a pile of fries on the side of the plate, restaurants are now giving the fries their own little, cozy home. If you're one of those people who doesn't like one type of food touching the other on your plate, your day has finally come. Amen. Once I re-arranged the toppings on the burger and placed the bun on top, I was ready for my first bite. At first, all I tasted was bun. But, as I made my way towards the middle, the burger became quite enjoyable. The BBQ sauce definitely made this burger. The taste of it dominated almost every bite, without being too overwhelming. Nothing is more disappointing than a well-cooked burger that lacks a genuine flavor, and the Smokehouse definitely brought home a unique and enjoyable taste. I wouldn't necessarily classify the sauce as "tangy" as per the description, but it was definitely delicious. The onion rings were inconspicuous at first, but as I ate on I began to taste the subtle crispiness they added to this burger. Again, the BBQ sauce was at the forefront of every bite. The bun was a little bit softer (and greasier) than I would have liked, but it was just tasty enough to be paired with this patty. Overall, I would dub the Smokehouse as being "pretty good for the money." I've had burgers cost almost twice as much and have half the flavor. For $8.99, this was a pretty good deal. Overall, I give this burger a 7 out of 10. It could earn an extra point by switching to a thicker, crustier bun and being more appealing on the eyes, rather than overwhelming and abstract. I will be sure to return for both the Bacon Cheeseburger and the Triple Prime Bacon Cheddar Burger. Next, however, I intend to tackle a burger from a local, non-chain restaurant/pub. Which one? I haven't decided yet. But, you can be sure there will definitely be beer involved the next time around. Oh, yes, there will be beer . . .
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